The blogosphere and social networking sites have been buzzing with news of reality TV star, Kim Kardashian, filing for divorce from her husband of 72 days, NBA player, Kris Humphries. The saddest part of this short-lived union is that, while the divorce announcement came as a surprise, it certainly was not a shock – at least to everyone NOT named Kris Humphries.
Dream Wedding/Hollywood Ending
What was billed on TV as “A Fairy Tale Wedding” turned out to be a horror show. What magazines called the “Dream Wedding” was actually a nightmare. However, considering that Britney Spears’ first marriage lasted just 55 hours, perhaps Kim K should be applauded for hanging in there so long (tongue planted firmly in cheek).
The “Hollywoodization” of marriage has not only affected those on Reality TV. It has also plagued real people who watch TV. It affects those who make $65 million per year and those who make $6.50 per hour. Far too many couples are choosing the “Hollywood ending” and opting for the easy way out instead of the hard work of making a marriage work.
For many, “Til death do us part” has become a HOLLOW SENTENCE instead of a HOLY STATEMENT. Marriage involves SACRIFICE – that’s why the ceremony is performed at the ALTAR. It is the place where two individuals go to die…and be reborn as ONE. When there is no sacrifice, it is the marriage that is destined to die.
Far too often, marriages end in divorce because people enter into the marriage with unrealistic (or worse) un-communicated expectations. One of the reasons news outlets reported that caused the Kardashian-Humphries split was that they could not agree on where to live. He wanted to live in Minnesota, and she preferred living in California. Quite honestly, this (and a lot of other things) should have been discussed and decided long before anyone bought a 20-carat diamond ring.
Thankfully, for those who’ve fallen into the “Hollywood ending” marriage trap, there is always an opportunity for a sequel. We can learn from our mistakes and make the most of our marriage. In fact, Hollywood doesn’t have to go very far to learn how to improve the “Hollywood ending.” It takes some of the same elements to make a successful marriage as it does to make a successful movie.
A Great Director
No movie succeeds without a great director. It is the director whose vision shapes the scenes and gives life to the movie by bringing everything together. Similarly, in marriage, it takes The Great Director to give life to any dying marriage. When couples start the movie of their life with God in the Director’s Chair, He helps to bring everything together and produce an Oscar-worthy marriage.
The Right Lead Actor & Lead Actress
The best movies have both a strong male and female lead. They both must be able to carry their weight, otherwise the entire production suffers. Many marriages fail because either the lead actor or actress (or both) was miscast. That’s what the Bible calls being “unequally yoked” (II Cor 6:14). If the lead actor and actress don’t have the right chemistry, the movie/marriage will end up as a failed experiment.
A Great Script
A great movie is dependent upon a great script. Even a movie directed by Martin Scorsese, starring Denzel Washington and Julia Roberts would fail if there was no dialogue. No one wants to sit in a movie theater for 2 hours and just look at a screen without any sound. So why do husbands and wives think they’re marriage will survive with no communication? Both husband and wife must actively communicate with and listen to each other because it takes a great script to make a great movie (and marriage).
A Strong Supporting Cast
A great director, great lead actor & and actress, and a great script are not enough to make a great movie. Every great movie needs a strong supporting cast to fill out the dialogue and help add depth to the characters. Similarly, every great marriage is dependent upon a strong cast of people who help undergird the couple. The supporting cast should include family members, friends, clergy, counselor(s), and others who all help band together to ensure the sustained success of the couple’s marriage. The key to remember is that everyone in the supporting cast, must be supporting. If they’re not supporting, they shouldn’t be in your movie…and definitely not in your marriage!
When we apply these principles to our marriage, I believe that we can change our Hollywood ending. We could end up like another couple who was in the news recently. Gordon and Norma Yeager died holding hands in the hospital after 72 years of marriage. That’s a whole lot longer than 72 days, and that is a true “Hollywood ending.”
Truth. Wisdom. Humor. 